The Beleaguered Belly

Today I noticed a pair of women were ogling me as I was out and about. By now I am used to the rude stares people give me when I am pregnant. This is my 6th visible pregnancy after all. You see, I have a very short torso. Petite shirts fit me (as long as they are short sleeved.) There is about an inch between my rib cage and my hip bone on either side. Even when I was extremely slender I could never wear a belt comfortably, for when I sat down my ribs would pop over the belt! So when I am pregnant, I am very large. My fundal height usually remains on target, just like other women's pregnancies, but necessarily everything grows out, not up. 

Anyway, one of the staring women eventually stopped me mid-step as I was walking past her with one of my daughters by putting her hand on my pregnant belly. I had my hands full at the moment or I might have involuntarily pushed her hand away in an automatic reaction. "Is it a boy or a girl?" she demanded. 

I tried to smile politely. "A boy," I answered. She turned to the woman next to her and said, "See? I TOLD you so!" (Nothing like letting me know that not only were they rudely rubbernecking, they were also talking about me.) 

I steeled myself. The next question was inevitable, "When are you due?" she continued, in the tone of a prosecutor cross-examining. I tried to stifle my sigh and keep my smile in place. 

"January," I responded, and started to walk away. Instead of being sympathetic the women were incredulous, making noises to indicate such, as if I would lie about my due date for fun or was too stupid to get the date right. I didn't even tell them that my due date isn't until the END of January. 

"Are you sure?" the nosey lady called after me (as if there could be some mistake and I would correct myself by telling her that no, I was really due in 3 weeks.) I nodded.

"You'll never make it," she announced. I kept my self from rolling my eyes and refrained from telling her that I have been as late as 2.5 weeks in the past. Nor did I tell her that ALL of my children have been late. I also didn't tell her how many children I have given birth to, or that the smallest of my children weighed 9.5 lbs. Instead, for some reason, what came out of my mouth was that my last one was over 11 lbs. That REALLY took her by surprise, as if a hugely pregnant woman wouldn't have huge kids. You'd think that would have been her assumption, since she had never seen me before pregnancy and I didn't tell her about my short torso. I took another step away.

"C-section!" she proclaimed loudly. I had had enough.... MORE than enough. A visible pregnancy should NOT mean that everybody has the right to invade your personal space, interrupt your errands, tell you horror stories about birth, interrogate you with personal questions that were none of their business, or embarrass you in a public place. Yet this happens to me ALL- THE- TIME! People seem to feel entitled to do all these things and more.

"Nope!" I said decisively, and walked away. I had done my best to be polite. She hadn't been polite AT ALL. The daughter at my elbow did not need to hear this. I didn't need to put up with this. The people around me did not deserve to have this information either. I refused to listen to whatever else she said to my back and I realized that my face was flushing. But I gritted my teeth and moved on to the next thing. In my mind I thought of what she would have done if I had told her that all but one of my children had been born at home, and all without medication too! :) 

It's bad enough to have to deal with the physical discomforts of my pregnancies, the mental anguish of dealing with each pregnancy after having a still-birth due to birth defect, but I also get to deal with the family size comments, the insulting gawking, and the judgmental speech from others about my physical appearance when pregnant. It's amazing how rude people can be. Some have no shame. And some have no self control either, as it seems they can't keep from blurting out their thoughts and judgments in such an impertinent manner or even keep their hands to themselves. This is just another price to pay to bring a beautiful life into today's world I guess. It's definitely worth it. But it's also maddening, insulting, humiliating, tiring, and most of all-  sad.