Hoof It

(If you're not familiar with the ongoing stray horse story, you should go back and catch up on old posts if you want this one to make much sense: Horsin' Around, Gift Horse, Sorry, Charlie, Charlie, Suzie, and Zebo, Horse Trading, The Horse Saga.)

My husband took advantage of the only snow/rain-free day this week to head out and pick up fallen branches and sticks. What with the storm that packed 50 mph winds, the heavy snow, the myriad of trees near our house, and the fact that we've not picked any up since mowing ended, there were tons. He made a dent in the job and got some fresh air, accompanied by our 3 year old. While engaged in this task, he noticed the hoof prints of a horse in our side yard and by the barn on the other side of the house.

He told me about seeing them later that night. At first it crossed my mind that the men who had come looking for their horse had followed the tracks here and thought I was lying when I told them we didn't have their horse. Then my husband pointed out that the prints were fresh and would have been blotted out by the heavy rains we had. As well, there was lots of snow on the ground the day they came looking for him, so there wouldn't have been any prints in the mud, only the snow. I was relieved about that.

But now I am wondering. Was Charlie/Cy here recently because he is still on the loose (since the beginning of January?!) Or had he gotten out again since then?! And how on earth had we not seen a big, dark gelding when all of us have been home for 3 weeks straight? Perhaps he was here in the night. And why does he come here? There is only the drive and the small unfenced portion behind the house that he could easily get through. The rest of the perimeter of our property is fenced.

Well, wherever the horse is, we wish him well. And if he survives, it seems that we are destined to cross paths often, even if the only proof we see of our crossing is hoof marks in soft mud.

Labor Day

After the infamous Saturday, I was a little gun-shy concerning mentioning contraction variations or the possibility of labor to my husband. For another week and a half I continued to have the short but regular contractions at intervals at night (which I had been having for weeks) longer and stronger contractions at random during the day, and persistent low pelvic crampiness. (The crampiness was new. The strength of daytime contractions was new.) It was exhausting on top of everything else. It was also distracting. 

While all this was going on, my sister arrived to help. My "due date" came and went. And my husband started working from home. You see, although my first labor was a multi-day marathon, each of my labors progressed more quickly than the last. He wanted to stay close so as not to miss the arrival of our newest family member.

We planned to have another "home birth" this time. (I know, some of you think that's dangerous, selfish, and stupid. Believe me, I've thoroughly researched this choice and compared the risks and outcomes associated with home births and the risks and outcomes associated with hospital births. So please spare me any judgmental comments you may feel inclined to make.) The idea of a birth at home was extra comforting this time around, knowing that I'd probably not have time to get to the hospital (and the fact that I have a friend who delivered a child of hers in her car on the side of the road en route to the hospital without the help of a qualified attendant or any supplies because she and her husband couldn't get there fast enough.) Given our new location, we even opted to work with a different midwife than usual, picking the one nearest us who lived about 20 minutes away at most, given traffic conditions and stop lights.

After my oldest daughter was born after a mere 3 hour labor, I purchased a laminated, "When Baby Comes Before the Midwife" sheet with my next set of birth supplies. It started out as mostly a joke, but it soon became a serious item for my husband to review. After all, my last labor lasted only about 45 minutes!

And then on the 5th of February I felt "funny" again. The nighttime contractions remained short and regular, but seemed more intense, and they still came and went. The random contractions during the day seemed even stronger too, although completely irregular. I messaged my midwife to let her know that I was having stronger and longer contraction, although still at random. I went about my normal business, trying to ignore the random contractions.

Then in the mid-afternoon, I was sitting on the couch in the living room with my sister and husband and a couple kids chatting when I experienced a particularly strong, random, distracting contraction. Then it crossed my mind that theoretically my "water" might "break" at any time. I figured I'd better not let that happen on the new couch, so I went to lay down for a nap. (I'd already put a chucks pad under the sheet in case my water broke during the night.) I also figured that if it wasn't labor, the contractions might subside if I rested. 

Well, I had a few long and strong contractions. And I lay there wondering at what point I would know it was "the real thing" since I seemed to have been laboring in slow motion for weeks. My husband came into the room. I told him about the contractions and that the closest the contractions had been together was 10 minutes. He went to tend our 3 year old and whatnot. While he was gone I got a REALLY strong contraction and my amniotic sac broke. I called out for him or anyone, but no one answered. (My sister happened to be playing board games in the "stone room" with the kids and didn't hear me.) I waited for what seemed like an eternity for my husband to hear me, for the contractions were instantaneously back-to-back and killer, and I didn't want to get up and cause them to increase in intensity. After learning of my water breaking and seeing the level of the contractions, my husband immediately called the midwife. Then he crawled onto the bed next to me.

Soon my contractions changed, and it became clear to him that things were progressing quickly. He called the midwife again and learned that she was stuck behind a slow driver not too far from our house. Soon she called back, asking if he wanted her to stay on the phone as labor progressed. But he quickly realized that she was not going to make it in time for the baby's birth, and set the phone aside and focused on the arrival of our newest blessing.

So anyway, my husband had reviewed the aforesaid mini instruction manual recently. I had pointed out to him where the cord clamps were, the umbilical scissors, the newborn hats, etc. In the end I'm not sure that any of that helped him at all, for this child arrived in a grand total of 28 minutes- a few minutes before the midwife arrived! He placed our third son on my chest, covered him up, and put a hat on him. He had the bulb syringe to suction the baby if he needed it. And then our midwife came in- in time to take the 5 minute APGAR score, and to tend to everything necessary. Our youngest child was born at 4:30 pm, weighed in at 11 pounds even, was 23 inches long; he was perfect and healthy. Praise God!

Pre-labor

Part of me thinks that I have been "overdue" with each of my babies simply because my husband and I get so out of synch before births. His jobs have always been stressful, and he has never seemed to be able to wrap things up before births. He also gets really anxious before births, and deals with his worry in a completely different manner than I do. I think that this lack of unity and psychological readiness must impact the start of labor to some small degree. 

Here's the latest example. There is a 4 week window for the arrival time of a baby, basically 2 weeks on either side of a "due date." (For example, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) says that an induction of labor should be considered at, but not before, the completion of the 42 week mark, unless medically indicated.) On the 26th of January I was feeling distinctively laborish. I was well over a week into that 4 week window. I had the usual steady, strong, but short contractions on and off through the night, and had longer, really strong, isolated contractions at random that morning after getting up and moving about too. I also had really painful mentrual-like cramps. And somehow, something felt different. I felt like things could really take off at any moment. I tried to tell my husband, but he was preoccupied with a deadline he had for his new job. I sent a message to my midwife to alert her, just in case. Then, when I found my husband on the recliner in his PJs with his laptop a short time later, I informed him again that today could be the day, that I was feeling pretty labor-ish. I suggested that perhaps instead of working on his new job stuff, he should get ready for the day first, just in case. 

His response? "Give me an hour." For a second I thought he was joking. I could deal with levity. I appreciate humor. Our last child was born in about 45 minutes after all, despite his weight of well over 11 lbs. But a look of panic swept across his face that was very real, and soon he was dressed and back on his laptop typing feverishly. I quickly realized that he was "dead serious." I thought, "Like I can just put the arrival of a baby on hold for you for a specified amount of time?!" After all these years and 5 births (one of them over 2 weeks "late") he knew that I had no intentional control over when the labor process starts or when a child was born! "How could he say something like that?" I thought

I also got mad. Running through my head were thoughts like: Work was more important than our new baby?... and on a Saturday too! And on our oldest son's birthday? Although the first week of that 4 week window had come and gone, he wasn't ready yet? He wasn't prepared to drop everything when the time came? I know that providing for a family of 6 is a big responsibility. I acknowledge that he does so very well. I know that the weight of a decision to take a new job weighed heavily on him and that he wanted to start out on the proverbial "right foot." But I felt rejected, demoralized, depressed, and angry. 

I refrained from bothering him, and bottled up what would have probably turned into a sitcom-like scene wherein the pregnant woman turns into a hormonal lunatic while a dumbfounded husband is taken completely by surprise. Instead, I informed my kids that I was feeling weird and that maybe the baby would come today, but that Daddy was busy and I needed to take it easy until he was finished. I also talked with my oldest in more detail. Then I laid down in bed so as to stave off anything, in case labor was actually imminent. Small, short contractions came and went as I worried and fumed and while the kids got a little wild and cavorted upstairs and then took advantage of the lack of parental oversight to have a DVD marathon. In the end, the contractions eventually subsided by late afternoon.

Anyway, I'm glad our baby wasn't born that day after all, even if my husband's unpreparedness did help to postpone the birth. It was the birthday of our oldest son that day. He would have had a great present, but in a way his birthday would have been stolen from him. Besides, how would we have handled the pick-your-birthday-dinner tradition on future birthdays with a shared birthday?! Needless to say, our oldest got less attention than usual this past birthday, although we did manage to pull off his birthday dinner, cake, and presents that night anyway. Hopefully he is old enough to understand the unusual circumstances of that day. And in the future, the phrase, "Give me an hour" will run through my head whenever my spouse and I aren't connecting and I feel ignored by him or angry with him.

The Horse Saga

The Friday after Christmas was eventful. My parents left that morning, as the roads were finally clear enough. My husband's family was slated to arrive around noon. (They actually didn't arrive until that evening.) I was busy washing linens, setting up beds,  preparing food, and tending children. My husband was on the tractor getting more plowing done.

The doorbell rang in the early afternoon. I opened it to see three scruffy men outside. There was the doorbell ringer, who was the guy I described in a previous post who came to get Cy/Charlie the first time. (If you're not familiar with the ongoing stray horse story, you should go back and catch up on this thread for this post to make much sense: Horsin' Around, Gift Horse, Sorry, Charlie, Charlie, Suzie, and Zebo, Horse Trading) Then there were two more gents strung at intervals down the front sidewalk. They all seemed rather ageless. You may know the type: thin hair, missing teeth, scruffy face, thin, pale and haggard looking. I couldn't tell if they were young and had been living a hard life or if they were older.

"Do you have our horse?" the man on the porch asked me. I told him we didn't. "You don't?" he asked incredulously, looking surprised? I explained that my husband had been out on the tractor all morning and would have seen him if he was around, and that the tractor noise would have probably kept him away anyway. I noticed that I couldn't hear the tractor anymore and told them that my husband was probably in the barn now if they wanted to ask him. They shuffled their feet and frowned.

I saw that there was no vehicle parked on the drive as I looked past them. So I figured that they must have walked. Glancing back at them, I noted that they weren't dressed for so much snow. Two were wearing sneakers and a third was wearing those tan construction-type work boots with the dark brown padding around the ankle. Oddly enough, their feet didn't look snowy though. None had gloves or scarves. The hats they wore were bill caps. They didn't even have coats, just layers of quilted flannel shirts, sweatshirts, and jackets. I told them I'd keep a look-out for the horse and that I was sorry it had gotten loose again.

"Well, give us a call if you see him, okay?" The first man said. I agreed. As I closed the door, I wondered if they were related and living together or just friends. Then I thought that perhaps I could offer them a ride. And I was curious. Did they come through the woods or up our drive? I looked, but couldn't see them anywhere. They must have disappeared into the woods... just like their horse.