Rain

Another day is nearly done. A storm with heavy rain blew through earlier today, and then it tapered off to a steady rain. We anticipated its arrival just in time to coop up the chickens, shut in the goat, gather all the scattered outdoor toys and close up the toy shed, take down the hammock, and bring in the mail. 

Once the worst of it blew over, we let the chickens back out into their run. Some of my children decided to stay out after that. They enjoyed frolicking in the light rain and filling every container they could find with rainwater. They came in to dinner thoroughly soaked and happy. 

After some black bean and salsa soup, with a side of home-made guacamole and chips, and a warm shower, they are all tucked snugly in their beds. The worst of the mess is cleaned up and the dishwasher is now running. My husband is away, so I am taking a much-needed breather on the screened-in porch. 

The rain is falling steadily. It pops on the cloth gazebo roof. It pings in the fire bowl. It drums down  the bent drainpipe. It thrums on the cement patio. It patters on the many trees, causing their leaves to dip and flip. It is an altogether soothing sound, and in general, I like rain.

The chimney swifts raising their second brood in a mud nest plastered to the stone siding under the eves are busy. As the sun sets, they swoop in the golden, glowing downpour with determination, catching insect after insect just above the moss-green grass. Their chicks peep all the while in a frenzy of hunger.

But I'm thinking of the complete battery of tests I started administering my oldest daughter today and of the math section that is slated for tomorrow.... of the research paper my oldest boy is wrapping up... of the tractor my husband put a hold on today- without consulting me first... of the latest fit my middle son threw at bedtime... of my youngest daughter's teeth. They are failing to fall out of her now shark-like lower jaw, and I need to schedule a dentist appointment to have them pulled. These and a myriad of other jumbled thoughts crowd my mind.

A cardinal is calling now. It sounds so loud, even above the noisy rain. It calls me back to my surroundings. A robin chucks occasionally, as if complaining about the cardinal. The sagging gutter on the barn is overflowing where is has for too long. Our neighbor's portion of the hay sits on the field still, irking me. The large round bales seemingly balanced at precarious angles along the ridge and the back side of the hill. And my mind wanders to the recent haying and the dishonesty and disrespect shown to us by the neighbors with whom we share this task. Where is my peace? It eludes me tonight.

I suppose I should go fold the four waiting baskets of clean laundry. I suppose I should correct my son's Spanish exercises. The shower surround I re-grouted is still waiting for an application of grout sealer. The stair carpet removal project is still only half finished. Four banker boxes of filing are waiting for culling and reclassification in the stone room. The downstairs bathroom is still without paint, a sink, or a mirror, etc., etc. And those are only the bigger things. My list is so long. Sigh... 

The infrequency of my posts is usually caused by one of two things. Either it's lack of time, because I am so tremendously busy that I can't even steal any. Or it's the fact that I'm temporarily blind to the bits of beauty in my life, and don't care to immortalize my pessimistic thoughts. Lately, it seems to be a bit of both. In fact, Patty Griffin's song, "Rain", is running through my head right now. It'll give you a glimpse into my mood.

Sometimes the hurt is so deep, deep, deep
You think that you're gonna drown
Sometimes all I can do is weep, weep, weep
With all this rain fallin' down

Strange, how hard it rains now
Rows and rows of big dark clouds
When I'm holding on underneath this shroud
Rain

It's hard to know when to give up the fight
Some things you want will just never be right
It's never rained like it has tonight before