Life is short. Love much.

Mike- his obituary photo

My friend, Mike Tackett, died recently. He was not yet forty. He had 2 young children and a lovely wife, a charming family. He had been an attorney and had such potential. In my experience, he was an intense and passionate soul. He was witty, intelligent, and enjoyed debating almost anything. He will be missed by many.

Last weekend I was fortunate enough to be able to attend his visitation.  I know that "fortunate" seems like the wrong word to use, but I am so often unable to get away, even for such important matters, and I do feel fortunate. I am thankful that I was able to see him one last time, thankful that I was able to see friends of old (despite the heartbreaking circumstances), and hopeful that my attendance helped to bring some small measure of comfort to his family. I am also fortunate to have been able to come face-to-face with death at this time in my life.

Mike’s death has shaken me up, as it should. His unfortunate passing and abbreviated life have not only pained me and left a little void that cannot be re-filled, it has reminded me of some very important things that I believe about life in general. I have been praying for Mike’s family, and meditating on this loss all week. Here are a few of my my thoughts on life:

#1) Life is short. It passes by so quickly. We are all going to die someday. Facing that reality can be both sobering and liberating.

#2) Life is hard. We all suffer. Accepting this will help us to understand one another, be more compassionate, and to live more fully.

#3) Life is composed of exquisite pain and simple beauty. If we did not hurt, if we did not experience the lows, how could we appreciate the good things, the loveliness of what we experience as we pass through? By what scale would we measure it? Wouldn’t our scale necessarily be narrow? The difficult times, if we persevere through them, give us -if nothing else- the potential to feel greater pleasure in the future. (Remind me of that the next time I am despairing or having an anxiety attack, will ya?!)

#4) Life is about relationships. Witnessing the grief of all those whom Mike left behind really drove this home for me. Part of his legacy will be the way in which he touched those around him, how he affected them as his life touched theirs. 

#5) Life is precious. Every day that we are alive it would do us good to remember that it could be our last. I don’t mean this in a morbid way. And I don’t mean to encourage debauchery. I just mean that we shouldn't take everything so much for granted. We should savor the simple beauty of life, be thankful and aware of our blessings, no matter how few or many they may seem sometimes. Lack of awareness of the value of our lives leads us to live carelessly, maybe even to waste the potential our lives have, the potential to love more deeply, experience life more fully, and to make a positive impact in our world. 

You may not agree with my list. You needn’t. I’m just sharing what my friend's passing on has brought to my mind in case it helps anyone to deal with the grief they experience. 

The chapel at SJC where Mike got his undergraduate degree
photo credit: R. Villarias

I feel fortunate to have known Mike. I have many fond memories of times shared with him in college. I am probably better for his having touched my life.  But I know that I am better for having to face Mike’s death. It is a gift he has given me, albeit bittersweet.

I know that this is an unreasonably ambitious desire, but I hope that when my "time" comes, I will have touched as many people as Mike has. I hope that I will leave a trail of lives touched by love. I hope that love echoes and reverberates long after my life, not so that I am remembered, but so that there is more love and less pain in these difficult, beautiful lives that we lead.

Mike, may you have eternal rest. May perpetual light shine upon you. May you rest in peace. May you be refreshed. May you be surrounded with love. Please pray for me, friend.